tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50389240770988503252008-07-03T19:06:39.930-05:00The Zen Of MotherhoodMama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comBlogger459125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-23531032713862539042008-07-03T08:04:00.000-05:002008-07-03T08:04:37.259-05:00How To Shirk Responsibility And Avoid Social ObligationsWhen you find yourself the recipient of an unwanted invitation, it's crucial to think fast. Unfortunately, at that very moment, it's all too easy to draw a blank. Be prepared; add a few of my all-purpose excuses to your social skills set. It's better to be safe than sorry you said "yes!"
"Can't. I'm still in Beta." --- excellent for nerds who won't take no for an answer."Sweat clogs my pores.Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-39526171502830939372008-07-02T08:17:00.000-05:002008-07-02T08:22:23.717-05:00Possibly The World's Most Unnecessary Sign
Wordless Wednesday!
Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-20680213841307409772008-07-01T07:36:00.001-05:002008-07-01T07:38:57.123-05:00By ProclamationFrom this day forward, let it be known and universally acknowledged that any and all presidential candidates are so patriotic that they can fart the Star Spangled Banner and salute simultaneously. While wearing a flag pin, of course.
Please, adjust your news coverage accordingly.
That is all.Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-58351258464870626252008-06-30T07:45:00.000-05:002008-06-30T07:45:00.847-05:00Adios, Amiga!Yesterday, I walked into Baby Puppy's room and caught her peeling all of the Dora the Explorer decals off of her wall. When I asked (in a less than thrilled tone, I admit) what she was doing, she replied that she was tired of Dora, and she wanted a new room. I believe her exact words were "something fancy and classic."
Well, thank you, Better Homes and Kindergarteners!
I don't really know Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-35218436059561086982008-06-29T09:05:00.003-05:002008-06-29T09:22:08.351-05:00Give Me A "C!"Since June is drawing to a close, I wanted to let everyone know how I did with Chile Chews's June Challenge. Remember, I was trying to rely less on single-serving convenience foods. So, how did I do?
If I was grading my performance (and I am), I would give myself a "C." I made some good changes, particularly when it comes to eliminating juice boxes. However, I found myself to be unwilling toMama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-57004793559429792702008-06-28T08:17:00.000-05:002008-06-28T08:18:04.680-05:00Review: America's Hidden History
I have always been fascinated by history. In fact, I have a degree in history (have I ever mentioned that? No?) that I've never actually used . . . until now!
America's Hidden History: Untold Tales of the First Pilgrims, Fighting Women, and Forgotten Founders Who Shaped a Nation (Collins, 2008), by Kenneth C. Davis, lightly covers the period from the arrival of Columbus in the New World in Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-54579771166110212062008-06-27T07:45:00.000-05:002008-06-27T07:47:58.917-05:00A "Perfect" Follow-UpMost of you who commented on yesterday's post (thank you!) correctly pointed out that I seem to be a bit burned out. Yeah, it's true, I'm a little crispy around the edges. But, you know what's the real kick in the ass? It's my own damned fault.
In some respects, I would have made an excellent Puritan. That whole "idle hands are the Devil's playthings" really resonates with me. All day long,Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-16011960977376230422008-06-26T07:45:00.000-05:002008-06-26T07:47:33.853-05:00Announcement --- I Have Become PerfectA perfect bitch, that is.
And, I'm not talking about the funny, snarky type of bitch. Or, the "bitch with a heart of gold" type of bitch. I'm referring to the type of bitch that doesn't bother to hide her exasperation with her child, curses the dog, and makes nasty passive-aggressive remarks to her husband. Lately, that's me.
If you ask me what's wrong, the only answer that I can come up Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-42832413212773773832008-06-25T08:09:00.001-05:002008-06-25T08:10:29.230-05:00Cousins
Wordless Wednesday!
Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-45945729267610021632008-06-24T09:53:00.000-05:002008-06-24T09:53:39.106-05:00Review: Recycline Preserve ToothbrushSome of you may remember that I'm participating in a June Challenge. For the month of June (and, hopefully, beyond), I'm breaking the stranglehold of my addiction to single serving snacks and drinks. Truthfully, my progress has been uneven.
When it comes to beverages, I've done pretty well. Rather than lazily wave a hand in the general direction of a pack of Capri Suns in the fridge, I've Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-29728323145545156852008-06-23T07:15:00.000-05:002008-06-23T07:16:09.991-05:00I Know What I Know
Just a couple of weeks ago, Baby Puppy and I made a little trip back to my hometown. It was a gorgeous sunny day, we had good tunes on the radio, and the thought of cousins to play with just a few more miles down the road had everybody smiling. Even the real dog was along for the ride.
I was cruising along at about 80 when I came up on the semi-truck. I was in the left lane to pass; he Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-61757289134866230702008-06-22T08:13:00.002-05:002008-06-22T08:17:40.066-05:00Yet Another Reason I Flunked "Princess""Can you paint with all the colors of the wind . . ."
---Disney Pocahontas
"OUTSIDE!"
---Disney Reject Mama ZenMama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-11465163617849711422008-06-21T08:13:00.000-05:002008-06-21T08:16:53.803-05:00Review: LoveHamptonBeautiful people behaving badly. Drinking and debauchery. Sizzling summer sex. No, I'm not talking about a weekend at my house (but, a girl can dream). I'm talking about LoveHampton, the must-have beach read of the summer!
LoveHampton (St. Martin's Griffin, 2008), the debut novel by Sherri Rifkin, follows the summer shenanigans of Tori Miller as she attempts to emerge from a major Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-58126633646921674892008-06-20T07:49:00.000-05:002008-06-20T07:53:45.367-05:00The Body PoliticAs of November 1, 2008, a new law will go into effect here in my home state. This new law requires that a woman undergo an ultrasound ("using either a vaginal transducer or an abdominal transducer, whichever would display the embryo or fetus more clearly") one hour prior to having an abortion. The so-called justification for this legislation is that an ultrasound is necessary in order for a womanMama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-36988873175866810732008-06-19T07:35:00.002-05:002008-06-19T08:00:33.924-05:00Housework Is Less WorkTo-Do List For Doing Nothing But Hanging Out By The Backyard Pool
Fill pool at the crack of dawn so that water can be gently warmed by the sun.Attempt to quickly make the house less of an environmental hazard before waking the child.Prepare breakfast to be rejected.Daily hygiene battle.Announce sixteen times that, "no one is going outside until they're wearing a swimsuit and sunscreen!"Escalate Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-14414904671790696732008-06-18T07:56:00.003-05:002008-06-18T08:27:40.669-05:00If You Sweat While You Blog . . .does it count as exercise? I sure hope so, because I'm perspiring like a prostitute who's pranced too near the pulpit!
I've mentioned before that Baby Puppy's geckos are in the family way. As of now, three eggs are incubating; there are probably more to come. I'll leave my joyful anticipation to your imagination.
The thing about geckos (and gecko eggs) is that they like it hot. Quite hot. Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-46957410502780201842008-06-17T08:13:00.002-05:002008-06-17T08:14:38.854-05:00Commercial BreakThis happy, healthy five-year-old
brought to you by Mama Zen.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY PUPPY!
Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-44021880478382655282008-06-16T08:46:00.003-05:002008-06-16T09:02:17.937-05:00I Got Your Father's Day Right Here!Did everyone have a nice Father's Day? Good. Let me tell you how we celebrated at my house:
Baby Puppy and Daddy Zen fought. All. Day. Long. And, that left me to play referee. All. Day. Long. Nice, huh?
Baby Puppy and Daddy Zen have been having issues for the past couple of weeks. To me, the reason is obvious: they are mirror images of each other. Both have a deep loving streak Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-60333179051083216362008-06-15T07:45:00.000-05:002008-06-15T07:49:09.082-05:00And, Bears! Oh, My!
Whispering . . .
In a display of outrageous cuteness, the bear cub places its paw against the glass. Every young mother in the herd rushes to fling her offspring toward the photo-op. Mama Zen is no match for their youth and strength, so she must rely on the wisdom of her advanced age . . .
and her enormous ass!
CLICK!
Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-35065128367029530292008-06-14T07:28:00.000-05:002008-06-14T07:33:05.784-05:00Resisting The Urge To Type "That I Am!"I stole this idea from Allison (an excellent person to steal from, should the need arise).
i am . . .
i am: trying to make the most of the summer.
i think: someone is sneaking into my yard each night and planting weeds.
i know: more and less than I think.
i want: peace, love, and understanding (what's so funny).
i have: a selectively green thumb.
i wish: there were more hours in the day.
i Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-80661535987377377972008-06-13T07:02:00.000-05:002008-06-13T07:03:12.673-05:00Review: SkizzerIt probably won't surprise most of you if I confess that reading is my number one guilty pleasure. And, you probably won't be surprised if I also confess that I find it incredibly frustrating when my precious stolen moments of reading fail to yield a satisfactory pleasure to guilt ratio.
By all indications, Skizzer (Revell, 2008), by A.J. Kiesling, should be a fantastic read. You have a Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-49203511315818432332008-06-12T14:00:00.002-05:002008-06-12T14:03:11.128-05:00Want One?Quick note. I made the cartoon (do you like it?) at toonlet.com. It' super easy; hell, even I could do it!
If you want to see a really cool one, check out Maria's. She inspired me to try one!Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-23449175855246619572008-06-12T09:02:00.000-05:002008-06-12T09:06:51.545-05:00Nature's RohrschachYesterday, Circus Kelli asked everyone to post a picture of their view from a window. Here's mine from my deck:
Do you see a dragon? A butterfly? Have you always hated this game?
Do tell!
Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-89696762867030682112008-06-11T07:45:00.000-05:002008-06-11T07:48:52.181-05:00Race Trumps Gender?Bear with me.
If you were watching a news program and the anchor suggested that Barack Obama would probably serve watermelon at the inauguration, would you be horrified? Appalled? Would such blatant, ugly racism turn your stomach? God, I hope so. I really do.
Now, imagine the same news program. Imagine the same anchor (or Rush Limbaugh!) suggesting that no one would want to watch a woman Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5038924077098850325.post-43591194198946664712008-06-10T09:16:00.001-05:002008-06-10T09:16:28.775-05:00Tell MeWhat's on your mind today?Mama Zenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.com