My brother-in-law is a competitive meat smoker. Snicker. What I mean to say is that he smokes meat and enters competitions. It is a hobby more fraught with peril than you would imagine.
Last night, my brother-in-law was preparing some meat for an upcoming competition. It was getting really late (the meat has to be smoked for a ridiculous amount of time), so he decided to get in his truck where he could catch a little nap, but still keep an eye on the smoker (a huge converted propane tank; homemade, of course). About 3 am, he was awakened by some sort of noise. When he checked the smoker, he discovered that 60 pounds of pork had been meat-napped!
Wait; it gets better.
The dastardly meat-nappers were apparently unaware that they were dripping a trail of greasy pork goodness as they made their getaway. My brother-in-law called the police (pigs?), followed the trail, and the thieves were apprehended.
The recovered meat took 2nd place.