Sunday, February 14, 2010

Love Song

A little pickin' and grinnin' . . .

Put that silly lingerie away.
If you really want to see a French maid,
I'll hire one.
She can vacuum in the nude.

And, don't bother making reservations
or grabbing a rose at the filling station.
Just take a look around
you're already screwed.

Because all day
I've had foreplay
doing what I have to do for yours and mine.
Now, I just want to climax
with a Xanax.
Happy Hallmark Day to you, my Valentine!

Ohhhhhh, Happy Hallmark Day to you, my Valentine . . .

Love ya, baby!

Who says romance is dead?

45 comments:

the walking man said...

Oh hell yes! and I thought I did good buying some chocolate a day early. hahahaha I should have read this first!

Lynn said...

This is so great. And Happy V Day to the Zen family!

Extra Ordinary Me said...

Amen. :-)

Sylvia said...

Brilliant. I thought of hiring a maid too! :) Happy Valentine's day!

Thom said...

Excellent. Happy Valentine's Day to you and your family :)

Brian Miller said...

that is the most amazing valntine song i have ever heard. lol. hope your day is filled with love...

g-man said...

I'm boycotting VD this year...

(That sounds weird)

Fireblossom said...

Happy Valantine's Day to you and to Baby Puppy, you soppy romantic, you!

Nessa said...

Now that's a love song I can related to.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Rosemary and Reflections

Jen said...

Perfect!

corvedacosta said...

Happy Valentine's Day

Talon said...

lol! I saw a group of sheepish men shuffling toward the cash registers with their bouquets at the grocery store this morning. Romance is alive and kicking!

Loved this song, Mama Zen! Have a fabulous non-Valentine sort of day. :)

Felicitas said...

LMAO! I think this speaks to many of us long-married folk!

Alice Audrey said...

Hey, he's getting you a camera. Gotta love a man like that.

Shelle said...

oh let me print that out for my man today. guess he'll get what he deserves lol

Mojo said...

Happy Hallmark Day is right. Is this an original MZ composition? Sure sounds like it could be.

sheila said...

HA! I'm gonna print this off and use it as my gift. :)

Jientje said...

Happy Valentine's day!

Matty said...

I can't compete with Xanax.

SandyCarlson said...

"Just take a look around/you're already screwed" are great lines. I will remember them.

That was fun.

This Is My Blog - fishing guy said...

Very cute Mama Zen.

Kathy M. said...

LOL!

TechnoBabe said...

This is so good. I can see I need to come back to this blog!!

Susan said...

Um, you said climax! LOL Loved that. Happy Valentine's Day and Gung Hay Fat Choy!

quilly said...

I got flowers.
And then I got flowers.
And then my man cooked me lunch.
I will keep him.

otin said...

Haha! Happy Valentines day to you!!

photomommy said...

LOL

Blue Bunny said...

iz this appropriate for my age groop? probly not, butt I reely lieked it. hapee valentimes.

xo

Nancy C said...

You, my dear, are gifted. That was seriously funny.

Climax with Xanax? Comedy gold.

G said...

Booyah.

Happy V-day.

Meg said...

So get her a cockatiel if she behaves. Cost about $30-$40 to obtain, doesn't eat much, makes few, small messes, males whistle often but unobtrusively.

Gattina said...

Happy Valentine's day to you too !

Shadow said...

the queen of cynical *grin*

The Artful Hawaiigirl said...

My husband gave me a card for the first time, bought sushi, sashimi, poke, and chocolate. We enjoyed a cozy evening at home as we like it.
Nice to meet you Zen Mom and thanks for commenting on my blog! I like your sense of humor here.

Stacia said...

"Take a look around, you're already screwed": I'm stealing that and writing it in my husband's card. A Hallmark one, naturally.

Titanium said...

That. Is. AWESOME!!

Rocking it, as ever, MZ!

Unknown Mami said...

See, that's the kind of sentiment I would like to see inside a card.

Bone said...

*sniff sniff*

I wasn't expecting to be brought to tears.

happilyretired said...

LOL ... never a dull moment here ;-)
Hugs and blessings,

Woman in a Window said...

I'm quite sure nobody does romance like you! HOpe it was a good one.
xo
erin

lisaschaos said...

Very pretty! I want to make them float on the air!

Leslie said...

The New Era Hallmark Card has just arrived
Thanks for the reality valentine

Here from Jingle come join us

Yousei Hime said...

Chuckling, shaking my head, and feeling a bit sorry for the fool. Only a little bit. Thanks for sharing this.

nohaemile said...

LMAO!! That cracked me UP!!!
Oh God.. I can't stop laughing..
I've been married with twins for only 3 years.. but once you're married, you're married! doesn't matter for how long! hahaha :D

I loved it

jaymiethorne said...

Maybe I can do romance...lol.