Dear Friend Who Has Not Yet Bred,
At our last get together, I could not help but notice the horrified look on your face when you saw my child wipe her nose on her sleeve. I saw you mentally counting the number of Oreos she was allowed to have for a snack. And, I know that you viewed my ratty ponytail, stained carpets and Dora the Explorer decor with disdain.
That's okay. I've been there, too.
Right now, I know that you look at my sweatpants and make-up free face and vow that you will never let yourself go like this. When you have kids, you will make sure that you have "me time." Your children will never take over your life. Or, your house. There will be rules! Oh, yes, I know what you're thinking, and almost every thought begins with "I'll never."
Dear, dear childless friend, right now, you know just exactly how you'll handle your kids. Savor that season of knowing. Cherish it. Commit it to memory. I want you to have a good, clear recollection to laugh about when all of your "I'll nevers" kick you in the teeth.
Mama Zen
Written for the April GWP at MamaBlogga.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
A Letter To My Childless Friends
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35 comments:
Ha ha! Perfect!
Ain't that the freakin' truth! Amen to that!
LOL. Nothing irritates me more than that particular air of self righteousness. I have ended a friendship based on that. Sad, but it needed to be done.
I love it!
I remember some of my "I'll nevers". I was such a great and wise mother -- before I had kids.
Ahhhh,yes! I remember my long list of "I will nevers" and then I had kids...
MUW-HAHAHA! Famous last (childless) words. I love it!
Motherhood is very humbling. It is not at all what I expected but I love every minute of it.
It has made me grow out of the "all about me" and my need to control everything. There is no controlling children and I love listening to childless people judge. I just laugh because I was once there.
what is that book, i was really good parent till i had kids....ahem
So true! When my brother heard that my kids woke up at 6am each day he swore that when he had kids, he'd train them to sleep in. Funny, that sleep training doesn't seem to be working out with his daughter -- she wakes up at 6am. ;)
Ah yes, those words came back to bite me in the ass many times!
LOL!!!!!
Well put … that’s absolutely perfect ;--)
Hugs and blessings,
Yeah we all think we're going to have some me time. What a laugh! Nicely written.
I was probably the worst, before my spirit was broken by having an actual child!
ahh yes! I worked with children for years before having my own, and actually had the nerve to give parents advice!
It's funny-I still get the "I nevers" from parents with children younger then mine, and I just have to think..."just you wait!"
I agree-parenting is a very humbling experience indeed!
Yeah, I get those looks. And then those people procreate and I get the last laugh. Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!
what a great post! amen.
(although i think i got lucky having my own kids at a really young age -- i didn't have too much time to look at my friends' kids...unfortunately, i'm the one they look at letting the kids eat oreos!)
Not only would my child never have that, I would never even have the child. Never.
Amen sista!
LOL So true!
Ha! I always love hearing the childless speak about how different things will be when they become parents... It's nice to have a dream!
LOL! As long as they're not wiping their noses on you, I think you're in good shape!
Thanks for participating
Oh yes! Amen to that!
High five to you, girlfriend! This post ROCKS! I love, love, love it!!
Thanks, everyone!
Hahaha! Yep, the "I will never..." ladies. I know them well. Hell, I used to be the president of their little club. Now I am soooo far outside of the loop it's not even funny.
HA! that rocks! =) i love it. and it's so true. i said "i'll never" before i had my son, too. so naive. =)
Love it! I was such a snob about "older" babies/preschoolers etc...who still had a pacifier.
Then I had my second child.
I keep my judgments to myself now...
Excellent post!
I think I'd have to change that to "Dear Goodwill Shoppers," for my experiences this week (minus one lovely older woman)....
Thank you for such a great GWP post! I may have woken my son up with my burst of laughter!
It's NOT childLESS it's childFREE. That said my hat is off to all the moms b/c I really do not know how you do it all. I know my friends who are childfree really respect moms and love our family/friend's children but just know it would not work for us. Hope all the moms have a great weekend!
Hi, Kiki! My child free friends are great; this post probably says more about how I felt as a relatively new mother than anything else.
Mama Zen, I'm glad that you have good friends that are supportive.
It drives me nuts to see someone without experience in anything try to give someone that has the experience advice. I have had friends ask me "what would you do?" and I say "I would probably jump off the roof!" heehee... Then tell them that I really have no basis to offer an opinion on anything to do with anyone's child b/c frankly it amazes me what all mom's can do in a day.
I honestly cannot imagine a more difficult job and again my hats off to all of you ladies!
I remember my own "nevers", and I've turned out to be quite the opposite of what I ever thought I would be. THANK GOD!
It's not just what I thought that I would or wouldn't do but all of the things that I had never considered that surprise me the most when they happened. I thought I was a well-researched sort of mom - until I realized that reading wasn't covering everything.
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