I've always been a Christmas kind of girl. I love the mystery and grandeur of the season in those quiet moments when I feel my fingertips brush against the miracle of grace. I love fudge and divinity and pumpkin bread and cookies. I love "Silent Night" and "Frosty the Snowman." I even love the frantic, last minute dash to the mall. And, this year, I have a brand new reason to love Christmas: the credible threat of covert surveillance.
Yes, Santa Claus may be a jolly old elf, but at my house, he is watching you like he works for the Bush administration. Refuse to get in the car seat? "Santa Claus is watching!" Throw a toothbrush across the room? "I don't think Santa would like that." Yesterday, Baby Puppy plopped her sweet little ass back into her chair at the mere mention of the big guy's name! Ho! Ho! And, ho!
No doubt I've horrified one or two of you. Yes, there's probably a special place in hell for Moms who turn Santa into their personal Tony Soprano. But, it's so nice the have the extra muscle! The most wonderful time of the year, indeed!
For MamaBlogga's December Group Writing Project.
Monday, December 10, 2007
He's Everywhere! He's Everywhere!
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21 comments:
Christmas isn't Christmas without drunken singing of carols using the non traditional words and at least one person falling into the tree.
A petrol strike (if it's like the last one) is where petrol is rationed for a day or two till stocks get so low that only emergency vehicles can fill up and staff such as doctors and nurses.
Trucks can't deliver their goods so stores run out of stock and people don't go to work because they can't get any fuel to get there.
yep, he has been working at our house too. :) Wonder if cupid or the Easter bunny has the same affect...
Only Santa has the power . . .
Yup ... ya do whatcha can to get thru the holidaze :)
Hugs and blessings,
Laughing...hey whatever works!!I love the season too!
Nooo...I use Santa too. It's not working as well this year as in years past, but it's all I got. ; )
I'm right there with ya!! And I say, milk it for all it's worth LOL!! Mine are too old to fall for it anymore, but oh, I remember the good old days when just the mere mention of Santa brought good behaviour in spades! Ah....
You mean you're NOT supposed to threaten the children with Santa Claus. Shoot, I didn't get the memo.
It's so easy for me to sit back and think, I will not use Santa that way. I will not ... but I said no TV and they watch TV, I said no junk food and they eat junk food, I said all natural and, well, you catch my drift. To each her own. Use whatever muscles you can ... I know I do. And, most likely, will.
I've been using the Santa threat since October.It's actually losing some potency.
To replace it, I've recently given Junior Misssy an old handbag and some old makeup to play with. She loves it. And threatening to throw it all in the bin is MY new "sleeping with the fishes-type threat"!
You need to use what you can...!
Beats a threat of violence, I guess!
You are so, so funny. I love reading this blog! I feel for you on the OCD - have got a smidge of it myself. I loved your caption under the Santa pic! I spent an endless couple of hours in Toy R Us the other day becoming increasingly overwhelmed with the sheer variety of blocks, princess costumes, and Barbie dolls, not to mention which purse should I buy??? After a moment of clarity (realizing the nieces are only 2 and 5 so the world will not come to an end), I bought the purple slutty sparkly one for Anna and the pink one (with removable puppy) for Emma. Good grief! I hope to never go back there! :)
LOL! I think my oldest is just getting to the point of recognizing the "Santa Threat". It is a great way to get some good behavior and lessen the length of time of the tantrum.
LOL too funny! You know...I love love love the christmas season. I just dont' often think of Santa. Not because I don't like the idea of him....I am just not sure I felt much magic about him. I really need to get it figured out. I have hardly even talked to Sugar about him.
LOL
You're a great mom.
But when Baby Puppy is too old to believe in Santa, you'll have to up the ante mama. '-)
LOL.. I am so right there with you! Last night Bug was acting up and so hubby said "If you don't behave I'll call Santa and tell him you are being naughty" Bug got an attitude and said "Santa doesn't have a phone!" I chimned in with "Oh yes he does, just for parents. We've already called him once.. what do you think you'll end up with if we have to call again?" You should have seen the look on his face.. priceless.. and he has been an angel ever since. yep I love santa.
Oh so sad - we are almost past the "elves are watching, what was that? Don't make me call Santa...I will I swear I will". Yes and I will go to hell with you I have also done the following, "NO, I am sorry McDonalds is closed on Tuesdays, What? Oh the parks are closed today = look there is no one there". Love the elves, may have to pull that out tonight and see if they listen!
Jamie Lentzner
jpd.typepad.com
"McDonalds is closed on Tuesday!" I've GOT to remember that one!
I'm sure I'll be doing the exact same thing, once we teach Hayden who Santa is and that there's a reason he suddenly gets showered with presents, LOL. So, probably next year!
Thanks for participating!
I am so excited about Santa coming. Kyra doesn't have quite a grasp on it yet, I imagine next year I will be hiding, sneaking around shopping, but this year. I did it all right in front of her.
Thanks for the well needed laugh. Did you ever try picking up the phone, dial 411 and say, "yes operator, can you get me the phone number for the north pole please? I seem to have misplaced it" LOL Isn't Santa an amazing guy? I can't imagine what we would do without him.
Warmest regards and happy holidays to you and your family.
-Kakie
Co-Author - Bur Bur and Friends children's book series
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